Thursday, February 13, 2003

I'M STILL STRUGGLING
The Holy Father's words have given me pause. Have I been to quick to give up on praying and working for a peaceful resolution. Is there more I can be doing? (absolutely!) Is the threat so dire and immediate that killing is the only solution? I'm not so sure...

Riding around during lunch yesterday, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh, and he was saying that we can't stay in this heightened alert state indefinitely (I agree). He went on to say that these threats don't just end without decisive action, and that's where I'm not so sure. Thus, we must kill those who are developing weapons that threaten us. Again, I'm not so sure...

The last great threat, the Cold War, did just sort of end. Yes, there was a large military buldup, and battles on the frontiers of Communism, but there was no great military action that brought down the Soviet Union -- it crumbled from within, with the help of a million individual acts of courage that didn't all involve killing people.

I understand that weapons of mass destruction put a great strain on the proportionality plank of the just war doctrine. The cost of not taking out Saddam could be infinite. I'm just not convinced that we've exhausted all means short of war, and that the consequences are as dire as those pushing for war say they are.

The foolishness of the anti-war movement makes it even more difficult, sometimes. It's fun to see them refuted when they assign false motives to the Bush Administration, or say that Saddam really is cooperating. I have to guard carefully against letting my own self-righteosness take over. I was glad to see Powell present convincing evidence, but I'm also happy when I see the the Saddameter go down.

What can I do? The only thing I can think is pray more. Pray that our leaders will make wise decisions. Pray that Saddam's heart will be turned, or that he will be overthrown with minimal violence. Pray so God will show me what needs to be done, so I can support or oppose the war rather than remain mired in paralysis. I will also be adopting a fast each Friday, eating breakfast and dinner and nothing more.

That's where I am right now, deeply conflicted.
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